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Crap Kingdom
Cover of Crap Kingdom
Crap Kingdom
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The Chosen One must be retrieved from Earth.He will bring down the wall and restore the kingdom to glory.His name is Tom Parking.With this mysterious yet oddly ordinary-looking prophecy, Tom's fate is...
The Chosen One must be retrieved from Earth.He will bring down the wall and restore the kingdom to glory.His name is Tom Parking.With this mysterious yet oddly ordinary-looking prophecy, Tom's fate is...
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Description-

  • The Chosen One must be retrieved from Earth.
    He will bring down the wall and restore the kingdom to glory.
    His name is Tom Parking.

    With this mysterious yet oddly ordinary-looking prophecy, Tom's fate is sealed: he's been plucked from his life and whisked away to a magical kingdom to be its Chosen One.

    There's just one problem—the kingdom is mostly made of garbage from Earth. Okay, well, two problems, the second being that the king hates Tom. Also, the princess likes to wear fake mustaches. And being Chosen One seems to consist mainly of cleaning out rats' noses at the Royal Rat-Snottery.

    So, basically, the kingdom sucks.

    When Tom turns down the job of Chosen One, he thinks he's making a smart decision. But when Tom discovers he's been replaced by his best friend Kyle, who's always been cooler, more athletic, and better with girls, Tom wants Crap Kingdom back—at any cost. And the hilarity that ensues will determine the fate of the universe.

 

Awards-

About the Author-

  • D. C. Pierson is one-fifth of the popular sketch comedy group Derrick, whose videos have been viewed over 250 million times online. He cowrote and costarred in their feature film Mystery Team, which went to Sundance in 2009, was released theatrically by Roadside Attractions, and is available on DVD from Lionsgate. His first novel, The Boy Who Couldn't Sleep and Never Had To, won an Alex Award for adult books with special appeal for teen readers from the American Library Association. He lives in Hollywood, California.

Reviews-

  • AudioFile Magazine Author D.C. Pierson performs his own work. Tom Parking is plucked out of his very ordinary life and told he has a destiny: He will be the savior of an entire otherworldly kingdom. The problem is that the kingdom, which has no name, is not grand and glorious. In fact, it's rather primitive and, well, shabby. Pierson makes Tom sound like a high-school slacker more concerned with girls than saving a world--a reverse Harry Potter. He shifts effortlessly between numerous bizarre characters like the officious king of the place-with-no-name, the friendly idiot who helps Tom adjust, and a plethora of weird animals that make strange sounds. Transporting the listener to a magical world he creates with skillful acting and vocal fireworks, Pierson makes the imaginary seem real. M.S. © AudioFile 2014, Portland, Maine
  • Publisher's Weekly

    February 4, 2013
    Adult author Pierson (The Boy Who Couldn’t Sleep and Never Had To) delivers a cutting sendup of a traditional portal fantasy in this story of a Chosen One who fails to live up to his legend. Tenth-grader Tom Parking’s life is perfectly average and acceptable until he’s taken away to a mystical kingdom where he’s destined to do great things. But the kingdom, which doesn’t even have a name, stinks, in Tom’s opinion. It’s boring, dirty, and filled with trash, and its inhabitants are jerks (worse still, the prophecy about Tom is written in Times New Roman, and not even centered properly). Disappointed, Tom turns his back on the whole thing, but he’s flabbergasted when his best friend Kyle is picked as the new Chosen One—and turns out to be a much better choice. There’s a subtly cynical, almost mean-spirited feel to the humor, as though Pierson is not-so-affectionately mocking the source material even as he mines it for inspiration. Luckily, some narrative twists and surprises redeem the story, shedding light on a bigger picture. Ages 12–up. Agent: Daniel Greenberg, Levine Greenberg Literary Agency.

  • Donald Glover "A hilarious and surreally honest book. Crap Kingdom is anything but the first half of its title."

Title Information+

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    Blackstone Audio, Inc.
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    All copies of this title, including those transferred to portable devices and other media, must be deleted/destroyed at the end of the lending period.

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